i would kill

i would kill

i would kill to be heard
to be truly listened to
i would kill to be known as more than just the
tranny
faggot
the one who cared too much
no one cares enough
i have to strain my voice screaming for the ones who never had a chance
screaming to the non believers that have silenced them time and time again
my life is not your debate
my identity is not your slang
my feelings are not your jokes
i will keep yelling for my
brothers
sisters
siblings
who you never heard
i will keep yelling till my throat rips out
i will keep yelling till you more than
hear
more than
listen
i will keep yelling till you feel our pain in your flesh and bones
but you can never feel it like we do

i say i’ll kill
but you’re the only one who pulls out the gun
we stand it the streets
in the cell
in the room
in the court
we stand
by the cross
the coffin
the graves
we stand with each other
for each other
with the hope that we can save one more before it’s to late
with the hope our voices can shatter the glass of lies and hate
with the hope we can break through the
walls
and the
bars
and our minds
and finally escape

My name is Ollie, I’m 14 and live in Minneapolis. I use he/they pronouns and identify as trans masc. I have been an activist and artist since elementary school. I have always challenged the system and put my all into charging unjust rules. When I came out in 4th grade I felt the burning hate and discrimination around me. All I wanted was to fix it all but I know I’m only one person. I tried screaming into the void of anger but that got me nowhere. I tried dismantling the void block by block but I knew I would never make it. Eventually I fell back on art. I use poetry to build a small platform in the void where I can sit and overlook the world. My hope is that everyone who finds themself lost can come, take a rest and feel safe for a moment.