by Zach Nerpel
Fucking perk up. I can’t stop and give a shit about things, in general, anymore. Inside of my control; outside. Who cares?
There’s a greater existential Aboleth looming in our horizon, far more menacing than your concerns over rising fast food prices and multi-generational, territorial genocide.
The monster creeps not through TikTok, the Government, or whatever the Hell else everyone is currently deciding to disagree upon. The monster is You!
Just kidding. It’s Me! Or someone like Me, in this moment.
I could be an affable news outlet, or a personality you trust because you already agreed with me based on some shit I said years prior which validated your beliefs. You could simply like how I look, or how my voice sounds when I tell you that you’re right.
If it’s not clear, it’s not me, personally. But like a heated cat’s insufferable mewing, the world is begging – pleading – for your attention. It wants all of it and promises that you never need to think or change again.
It understands that you’re angry, and rightfully so. Because you’re right, and they are wrong. Deliciously, it invites you to choose the flavor of anger this candy comes in.
Who’s to blame… for any of it? Choose! It’s up to you. The terror is all the same, but now it’s to your palate.
Any flavor you want. Make it your identity, even. Wear a MAGA hat. Get really into freeing Palestine. Kony 2012! You learned Ukraine was a country in 2022 and you’ve already forgotten it exists in 2024? Perfect.
Because guess what, so long as you’re pissed off, you’re the best customer – especially when the prices are high. You create the demand and the supply!
So fucking perk up, because this is what you want. Every other animal on this planet, if it desires something, collectively does what it must to make the accomplishment – or dies off.
Meanwhile, we are thriving in terms of population. It’s the rest of the animals, the planet itself, that is dying off.
This is because there’s a terrible interplanetary monster and it’s been controlling our behaviors for the better part of history as a species.
So praise the malefic Aboleth, if only to avoid coming to the conclusion that it’s in our nature as a whole to be…
Well… find your own peace, I guess, as it’s not coming to us any time soon.
Because if we’re equal, we share an equal nature, the same nature which has caused – wait a minute… this is about the Aboleth.
It wants you to know to, well, let me just quote,
NOTHING C̵̆ͅẢǸ ÇHANGE THE N̷̢̜͂ÅTŲRḘ ÒF MÄŅ̸̤̒̚
GƠỌ̷͝ͅͅḊN̷̝͝ͅESS ̵̩͘IŜ̸̹͔̑ ȀS RẢŔE AŞ Ȇ̷͓̠̖VIL
ẺVĨ̵̹͝L ĮS ÃS C̵̥̀̓OMṂǪŃ ÀS G̵͚̀OÕ̴̮̥DNESS
THE VÁST M̷̰͔̔ÂJORI̴̥͒TY ḺIE Ĩ̵̼̗͝N BËTWẼEN ̷̩̭̏
̴̮̦̽ĄÑ̵̹̐̚D ̵̪͓͋TH̷̰̿̏IS IS WH̶̰͉̉ERE Ĩ̴̬̠ RḚIG̴̝̍N
ŢḪIS̶͚͝ ỈS WHỶ ABOLĚT̸͍̫̎H ÁLWĄYS WIN̵͓̉S
Well, there you have it.
Article done, I guess.
RRCC 