That Time When I Silenced Myself

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That was a time of my life 
When I decided to 
Silence myself. 

I want to use my words 
To spread happiness
Like a fairy godmother
spreading sparkles 
Like a flower 
Spreading seeds
That will become 
Other beautiful flowers.

I want to use my words
To create bridges
Between myself and 
Other people
They can bring us together
And share our human experience
With just being 
Who we are.

At that time of my life
My words
My flowers
My bridges
Were labeled as 
Aggressive
Unworthy
Sources of unhappiness.

I started to 
Select my best words
The most beautiful
And caring ones
Used them as instructed
Deliberate in when to use them
And if it was a worthy word.

But my most beautiful words
My most worthy flowers 
Were still labeled as 
Poison
Weed that kills all the other flowers
Fire that burn bridges
And grow distance.

I decided to silence myself
To swallow my poison
To kill the flowers 
Of my own garden.

That is the time of my life
When I died.